A Fork in the Road

This journey has led me to a few conclusions thus far—one, that perfection is not attainable. It is an ideal that I strive for, but will never reach. It has caused me to reassess what I deem valuable, in this case, can perfection add anything my life regarding value. I find myself standing at a … More A Fork in the Road

Control is Fake

Yesterday, I presented the idea that the need for control is one of the reasons I seek perfection. I hide behind control out of self-preservation, safety, predictability, and success. This kind of security comes at a cost though. I may be immune to risk, but life is bland, lacking dynamics and adventure. My mother called … More Control is Fake

I’m a Perfectionist

I had heard about Enneagram for a while. Another way of understanding personality like Myers-Briggs, I reasoned. Always on a quest to understand myself better, personality questionnaires intrigued me. I often don’t trust my estimation of myself; I think I am too close to see myself for who I really am. I am more comfortable … More I’m a Perfectionist

Submarine

My life is a submarine, constantly diving and resurfacing.  Sometimes I spend a great deal of time submerged, off the radar. My first instinct is to apologize for my absence because I have a hard time with feelings of failure when I am not doing things the “right way.” I am learning, though, that there … More Submarine